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Little Girl Explaining Where Babies Come From LITTLE GIRL EXPLAINING WHERE BABIES COME FROM One afternoon, a little girl returns home from school and announces to her mother that her friend has told her where babies come from. Amused, her mother replies: "Really, sweetie, why don't you tell me all about it?" The little girl …
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Long Term Implications Of Drugs Over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than is spent on Alzheimer's Disease research. It is believed that by the year 2030, there will be a large number of people wandering around with huge breasts and erections, who can't remember what to …
German For Vaseline What's the German word for VASELINE? Ans: Eurweinerslider.
New Lover From The Classifieds A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She decided to put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED, must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me, and must still be good in …
Tight Mini Skirt TIGHT MINI SKIRT In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight mini skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her …
Boy Anticipates Sex With Girlfriend and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes …
Russian For Vd What's the Russian word for VD? Ans: Rotchurcockoff.
Man With Sunburn On Legs A man fell asleep on the beach under the noon day sun and suffered a severe sunburn to his legs. He was taken to the hospital. His skin had turned a bright red and was very painful and had started to blister. The doctor prescribed continued intravenous feedings of water …
Birds And Babies What kind of birds deliver babies?- Storks. What kind of birds don't deliver babies? - Swallows.
Hung Chow Hung Chow call his boss and says: "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt, I not come work." The boss says: "You know Hung Chow I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and …
Teacher Has Answer For Excuses A high school English teacher reminded her class of tomorrow's final exam: "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no …
Two Afghani Women Two women from Afghanistan were walking down a dusty dirt road. They stopped for a moment and one held up two potatoes she was carrying for the other to see. Then the other one exclaimed, "those look like my husbands balls." "You mean your husband has balls this big?" "No," replied the …
Moving To Las Vegas MOVING TO LAS VEGAS So this guy comes home and finds his wife packing her suitcase. "Where do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm moving to Las Vegas. I just found out I can make $500 doing what I've been doing around here for free." So the husband starts packing …
Santa And Beautiful Lady_(0) SANTA AND BEAUTIFUL LADY Santa Claus arrives at a house and climbs down the chimney to find a beautiful blonde, laying on the bed. She looks at Santa and says, "Oh Santa I'm so horny will you please stay with me?" Santa says, "Ho! Ho! Ho! You know I gotta go...got …
Tastes Like Orange Juice TASTES LIKE ORANGE JUICE An entrepreneur meets with a bank's loan officer and asks for $100,000 to start his business. The loan officer asks what kind of business he wants to start. The man states that he has invented a can of spray that when used on a ladies privates, makes …
Old Couple Celebrating Anniversary_(1) An old couple in their 80's went out to dinner to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary and ended up at the same restaurant they ate at while beginning their honeymoon. The old man takes a look outside the restaurant window and says to his wife, "remember that fence across the street? …
Brothers Who Cross Medicines BROTHERS WHO CROSS MEDICINES Once there were two brothers who were depressed. One was depressed because his penis was too small; the other was depressed because his pubic hair was too long, so they decided to go to the doctor.The doctor prescribed different medicine for them both and told them to …
Man With Five Dicks Did you hear about the man that had 5 dicks? Ans: His underwear fit like a glove!
Hung Like A Moose I felt like a real man when after a long (20-30 seconds) session of love-making my girlfriend told me I was hung like a moose. I then shrunk back down to size, literally and figuratively, when she clarified her statement, "Yeah, you're hung like a moose...chocolate mouse!!!"
Woman With Garden A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge fed tomatoes. The woman asked the gentleman, "what do you do to get your tomatoes …