Redneck Vasectomy

Redneck Vasectomy A redneck man says to his doctor, "Doc I just had my eleventh kid and we don't ha a bed bigenough for any more kids. I needs one of them vasectomy's done." The doctor Says " A vasectomy is a shorefire way to eliminate that problem, but that operation cost alot of money …

Tennis Elbow

Tennis Elbow A man sees a new machine at the drug store which has a sign "Any ailment diagnosed - only $1". His right arm has been sore for a week so he decides to give it a try. He follows the instructions by bringing in a small urine sample, dumping it in the machine, …

BACK TO PRIEST SCHOOL

BACK TO PRIEST SCHOOL FATHER PATRICK WAS TALKING TO HIS REPLACEMENT IN A SMALL VILLAGE CHURCH. 'FATHER MICHAEL'HE SAYS,YOU WILL BE LOOKING AFTER MY FLOCK FROM NOW ON.'BUT WHERE DO I START?THE YOUNG PRIEST REPLIES.'YOUV'E BEEN HEARING CONFESSIONS FOR OVER 50 YEARS,I'LL BE LOST'. 'DONT WORRY,SAYS FATHER PATRICK,'I'VE WRITTEN A LIST OF SINS AND ABSOLUTIONS …

Mafia

Mafia Q: What do eating pussy and dealing with the mafia have in common? A: One slip of the tounge and you're in deep shit!!

goodbye daddy

goodbye daddy One morning, as Gary is getting ready for work, he happens to pass his daughter's room and overhears her saying her prayers. "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, and goodbye Grandpa." He finds it odd but thinks no more of it. Later that day when he comes home from work, …

Gun Shop

Gun Shop There is a man who walks into a gun shop one day. He points to a gun and says, "Can I take a look at that one?" to the store owner. "Sure why not." The man gets the gun and looks through the scope and does checks on weight and such to see …

Frogs

Frogs What did one lesbian frog say tot he other lesbian frog? Its true we do taste like chicken!

postal going

postal going Tom the Postman was on the last day of work before retiring when he got to a house near the end of his route and there was a note on the door : "Tom, ring the bell when you get here!" So he does and the lady of the house opens the door …

Penis Enlargement

Penis Enlargement A cosmetic surgeon in Dallas specializes in enhancements, mailny penis enhancements. One day, a man walks in and says,"Doc, my wife and I are naturalists, and we want something closer to nature. Can you give me a wooden penis?" The doctor tries to talk him out of it, but in the end, he …

Oranges

Oranges A boy gave a girl a shoping bag and asked her " plz dont grap it tight, i will be back in 2 minutes, coz oranges will be squeezed, the girl reply " is it full of oranges?" the boy replied, "NO, it has potatoes in it"

the mailman joke

the mailman joke one night while the parent's were having sex a kid walked into the room and saw his parents having sex. The mother jumped up and exclaimed, go in your room billy, I will be right in there. After careful consideration, the father decided that it would be best if he went in …