Ah, but if you'd seen her you'd understand…
To be honest, the tutorials were starting to get a little on the dull
side. Don't get me wrong, I was enjoying the course on the whole, but I was
into my second year now and I was still yet to come across a tutor who
inspired me. Most of them seemed tired of their work, biding their time
until retirement. Week in week out, I was set difficult but hardly
stimulating tasks, and each week I would come back feeling I had gained
History is a passion. I had fallen in love with it in my early teens,
surrounded by a family who had bothered to research their past. There was
so much to be learnt from people and events long gone by, and as I looked
deeper into it, the more fascinated I became. At school I threw myself into
it, deciding at that moment that it was something I wanted to pursue. GCSE
turned into A-Level turned into a degree, and my love for the subject never
waned. But I had expected my teachers at university to have more of a flair
for the subject – most of them seemed to do it for want of something to do.
Midway into my fifth term though, something changed. I acquired a new
I knew we were getting someone new. One of my tutors had been taken quite
ill fairly suddenly, and had had to be replaced at short notice. But I
hadn't been expecting anyone especially different. I wandered into my
tutorial room, lagging a little behind the other members of my group.
Looking idly around, my eyes alighted on a stunningly beautiful woman,
maybe five or six years older than my nineteen. Doing my best to hold my
jaw off the floor, I tried to work out what she might be doing here – after
all, she couldn't possibly be the tutor.
I quickly sat down, trying not to stare at her. She did what appeared to be
a quick head count, and stood up.
I hoped my eyes weren't too wide. Who was this vision?
"Hi," she began, "I'm Claire. I'm going to be your tutor from today."
I hoped my grin wasn't scary. This would make life more interesting. One by
one, we introduced ourselves back, and I suddenly found my enthusiasm for
tutorials kick straight back in.
Immediately, she launched into our hour's teaching, and she didn't let
up. Rather than ramble at us, like other teachers we had known, Claire
constantly probed us with questions, ensuring that no one had an excuse to
go to sleep. For the first time in a long while, I felt like I was being
stretched and my time wasn't being wasted. Yet all the while, I was
desperate to leave a good impression and wasn't sure if it was better to
get an answer wrong or not know at all.
When the hour was up my classmates headed straight for the bar, as was
customary on a Friday afternoon. I was preparing to follow them, but as I
gathered my books Claire sat down beside where I was standing.
"Did I pitch that at the right level?" she asked me.
"Sure," I replied, doing my best not to trip over my words, "it worked for
me." I realised what I said sounded far too much like a come on, but it was
too late now.
"Good," Claire said, "I just wanted to be sure."
"Not being funny," I said, "but aren't you a little… young to be lumbered
"Probably," she answered with a smile, "I've just completed my PhD, this is
my first teaching job."
I said my goodbye and followed the others to the Student's Union bar. When
I got there I saw that there was a pint waiting for me, so I sat down.
"You were red throughout the whole hour," said Paul, one of my colleagues,
"what's come over you?"
I blushed. "You need to ask?" I had always been very open about my
sexuality at university, and it didn't take any amount of genius to see
that Claire was very attractive.
"You're terrible," said Nicola, another of my classmates, "you always fall
for impossible straights." Nicola was referring to an incident in the
previous year when I had pursued a girl, convinced she was gay, only to end
up with a messy rejection.
"What makes you think she's straight?" I asked.
"Helen, come on," replied Nicola, "I mean, look at her. You honestly think
she might me gay?"
"Probably not," I admitted. My radar was pretty good, I didn't often get it
wrong, and in all honesty there didn't seem to be anything 'dyke' about
her. "You've got to admit though, very sexy."
"True," said Paul.
"Hands off," I said with a half smile, "I saw her first."
She had to be straight. We were seeing her about twice a week and so I was
spending a lot of my time reading up on things in a feeble attempt to
impress her, and while she was always friendly I never got the slightest
impression that she might share my outlook on the world. Occasionally she
would even make references to how attractive certain men were, and I had
decided she was only ever going to be a fantasy to me. That said, though, I
told myself that one day, I would ask her out.
Weeks passed, and the term was getting towards its end. Being shameless, I
thought I would have to do something soon if I was ever going to, and
decided that I would see if she would let me buy her a drink.
At the end of the next tutorial, during which I though I hadn't acquitted
myself too badly, I lingered behind after the others headed off to the bar
for a lunchtime pint or two. Claire was sorting out her papers, and noticed
that I was still there.
"Anything I can help you with Helen?" she asked.
"No, not as such," I said, summoning all my courage, "I was just wondering
if I could buy you a drink some time?"
Claire looked puzzled.
Worried that I had given the impression that I least wanted to, I
continued, "Sort of as a thank-you. For stepping in this term."
"Oh right," she said, "I guess that would be okay. When did you have in
I quickly ran through my mental timetable and realised that I was free that
evening. "How about later?"
"I think I'm free then," she said.
"See you in The George at eight?" I said. She nodded that that would be
fine, and I thanked her and headed off on my way. I found the others in the
"What happened to you?" asked Paul.
"I asked her out," I said, practically bursting with excitement.
"And?" enquired Nicola.
"And I will be buying her drinks tonight," I said with triumph in my voice.
Paul, Nicola and the other members of my group fell silent and stared at
me. "What?" I asked.
"Helen, what are you doing?" asked Tim, another of the group. "You don't
have any inkling that she's gay, and she's our tutor for Christ's sake."
"There's no law against it," I said, "what harm can it do?"
"Hmmm," said Nicola, looking sceptical.
"Well, good luck to you," said Paul.
"Thank-you Paul," I said, "at least someone has faith in me."
"And if it turns out that you're not her type," he went on, "then send her
in my direction, will you?"
That afternoon I had a couple of lectures before I headed back across town
to the flat I was sharing with some friends. I let myself in, and saw that
no one was home except for Rachel, a medical student. She was frying some
eggs in the on the cooker.
"Rach, it's four o'clock," I said by way of a greeting, "why are you
"I'm playing hockey later," she said. I had forgotten that Monday was when
she had her hockey training.
"What are you looking so pleased with yourself about?"
I flung my bag on a chair and sat down. "You know I told you about Claire?"
"The hopelessly straight tutor who you have been obsessing about for weeks,
she with the brown hair, blue eyes and little mole on her neck who speaks
with this really sexy voice and you want desperately," said Rachel, before
smiling at me, "No, never heard of her. Remind me."
"Very funny. Well, I have a date with her tonight."
"Really?" said Rachel, nearly dropping her eggs. "Hang on, though, does SHE
know it's a date?"
"Not as such," I admitted, "but hey, it gives me something to work with."
"Well, good for you. I wish you luck. When are you off?"
"I have to be in The George by eight. Plenty of time."
I sat and chatted with Rachel for a while, then she had to go and no one
else was back, so I went into my room. I was starting to get very nervous
and thought about what I should wear while I had a shower. I decided I
didn't want to look like I was trying too hard, so after my shower I
selected a pair of khaki trousers and a tight sleeveless top. Once dressed,
I knocked myself up a bit of pasta and ate it on the sofa in front of the
television. My heartbeat kept skipping; I was terrified I would do
something to blow it. What was I doing? I didn't stand a chance with
her. It would all end in tears, I knew it.
I got to the pub at ten to eight and bought myself a drink. It wasn't too
busy, which was good. I settled down in a corner and waited. By eight I
thought I was about to have a heart attack. At two minutes passed I
couldn't stop looking at my watch. At three minutes past I though I had
been stood up. At four minutes past eight, Claire arrived.
She saw me at once, and I stood up. "Sorry I'm late," she said.
"Are you?" I asked, "I hadn't noticed. Can I get you a drink?"
"Okay, sure, thank-you. Glass of red, please." Wine. Sophisticated. I like
I got her her drink, and a second pint for me (the first one had been to
steady my now shattered nerves), She smiled her thanks, and I sat down
beside her. "Cheers," I said, raising my glass.
"So," she began, "to what do I owe the pleasure?"
"I… just thought it would be nice," I said.
"Fair enough," she responded. We made small talk for a while, discussed the
weather, our mutual love for history, and I discovered that we also had in
common an enjoyment of rugby. I waxed lyrical on England's Six Nations
defeat of Scotland the Saturday just gone by, and she agreed, and I was
finding her so easy to talk with.
"So what made you like the game?" I asked.
"A boyfriend at uni played, and the more I watched it, the more I
discovered I liked it," she said.
"Are you still with him?" I probed, thinking that maybe all my friends had
been right. Boyfriend. What chance now?
"No," she answered, "it didn't work out. Been single a while now. What
"I'm single too. Always the way."
"None of the history lads do it for you then?"
How do I answer that one, I wondered. I decided to lay my cards on the
table. "I'm a lesbian, so no."
Claire took this in her stride, "Oh, right, okay." Then something seemed to
dawn on her, "Helen, does that have anything to do with why you invited me
"I'd be lying if I said no," I confessed, "another drink?" Before she could
reply I got up for the bar. While I waited for my order I tried to work out
how best to get myself out of this one. She was blatantly not gay, and I
had good as admitted to her that I fancied her. I paid for the drinks and
took them back to where she was sitting.
"You're still here then," I said, "to be honest, I'd understand if you
wanted to leave now."
"I'm not just going to go," Claire said, "that would be rude, and besides,
why would I want to?"
I wondered if she had heard me correctly before. "I thought you might feel
"I must admit, I've never been propositioned by another woman before, if
that was a proposition. Was it?"
I could only nod.
"I'm flattered," she said, "thank-you."
I felt slightly flat now, but was determined to enjoy the rest of the
evening. I had missed my chance, but we got on so well I had no desire to
call it a night. At least I could get a decent friend out of this, I
By last orders we were both slightly the worse for wear, Claire more so
than me. I asked her where she lived, she said it was a ten minute walk.
"I'll walk you home," I said.
"Don't be silly," she replied, "there's no need."
"I just want to make sure you get back alright."
"Oh, okay then," she said, slurring her words just a little. We got up and
left the pub, chatting in a similar vein to the way we had been all night.
Claire's house was in a quiet road, a little further away than she had
said. Her walking was a bit erratic, and on more than one occasion I had to
put my arm around her to steady her. When we got to her front door she
tripped a little on the step, but I caught her.
"Are you going to be okay?" I asked.
"Fine," she said, "are you going to kiss me goodnight?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"You're a lesbian, aren't you," she said drunkenly, "isn't that what
"Claire, you're just drunk." I knew I fancied her like mad, but I wasn't
going to take advantage.
She fell backwards onto the wall of the porch, and again I put my arm
around her waist to keep her standing.
As I did this she leaned back against the wall and pulled me close to her,
so that I was only inches away. I knew I should have walked away at that
moment, but I would defy anyone not to get caught up in a moment like
that. She looked into my eyes and mouthed 'kiss me' and I couldn't help but
She put her arms around my neck and pulled my face to hers and kissed me,
deeply, passionately, with so much lust that I thought I could die. I could
do nothing but kiss her back, nor did I want to do anything else.
Our tongues collided and I swear my knees went at that moment. I pressed
her up against the wall and kissed her hard, the product of two months of
fantasy suddenly becoming reality.
Eventually, Claire broke the kiss and scrabbled around in her bag for her
keys. "Are you coming in?" she asked as she found them.
"Do you want me to?"
She thought about this for a second. "Yes, I do."
I followed her in and she led me straight upstairs to her bedroom. I was
surprised she was being so direct, but hardly complaining. When we got
there, she shut the door and pinned me against it, kissing me again. We
were about the same height and size generally, and it felt, with her body
pressed up against mine, that we fitted together very well. She ran her
hands under my leather coat and felt my body through my top. I moved
forwards, shrugged the coat off, and pushed her down onto the large bed in
the centre of the room. Then I joined her, kissing her neck and pushing a
knee between her legs. She moaned gently and pulled me on top of her,
placing a hand on each cheek and bringing my lips down to hers. She felt so
good to kiss, our mouths 'fitted' and she tasted of red wine, a taste that
Before this got too heated I raised myself up on my arms. I had drunk a lot
of pints and wanted to do something about it before things got to a point
where I couldn't break away. I asked her where the bathroom was, she told
me, and I promised to be right back.
While in there, I let events catch up with me. I could not believe what was
happening. This was beyond any realistic expectations I had had, and I
expected to wake up any moment now. I tried pinching myself, but still I
was in Claire's house, and now I was going to go back to her and make love
to her for hours.
Or so I thought. When I got back into Claire's room she was fast asleep in
the bed, and she looked so peaceful that I didn't want to wake her. Clearly
the alcohol had taken its effect. Unsure of what so do, I took my shoes and
socks off and sat down beside her, and stroked her hair, which was so soft
to the touch.
I decided that I should stay, as it was getting late to be roaming the
streets alone and I thought I should check that she was all right. I didn't
know how she would react when she awoke sober in the morning and found me
there, but I thought I'd take my chances. I tucked her up with duvet, lay
myself down beside her, switched off the light, and slept.
When I awoke in the morning, it took a minute or two for me to remember
where I was. I glanced around the unfamiliar room. It looked different with
the morning sun streaming in through the curtains. I rolled over and saw
that Claire was still fast asleep. I sat and watched her for a few minutes,
thinking to myself how unbearably beautiful she was. I didn't want to
leave, and as I had a free morning I decided that I wasn't heading off
until Claire kicked me out.
I hauled myself up and out of bed. I still smelt of smoke from the night
before and desperately wanted a shower, so I undressed, borrowed Claire's
dressing gown and went into the bathroom that I had located the night
before. I ran the shower hot and stepped into it, being immediately woken
up fully by the blast of water.
Once satisfied that I was clean, I stepped out, towelled myself down put on
the dressing gown again. I wandered downstairs to the kitchen and had a
look around. Just by seeing how Claire arranged her kitchen I was seeing a
side of her that was new. She was very neat, and I found the pot of coffee
and put the kettle on.
Coffee made, I carried it back upstairs to her room. I opened the door
quietly, but I could see that Claire was beginning to stir. I contemplated
waking her with a kiss, but figured that if she awoke with regrets of the
night before, that would be a bad way to begin. Instead, I put the mugs
down on the bedside table and perched on the bed next to where she was.
Claire's eyes opened, and I held my breath. Much to my relief, when she saw
me there she smiled tenderly and croaked, "Good morning."
"I made you some coffee," I told her, "how are you feeling?"
"All the better for seeing you," she replied.
Hurrah, I thought! Thinking it would now be okay, I bent down and kissed
her lightly on the lips. Claire smiled in response.
"What time is it?" she asked.
"Quarter to eight," I said, "when do you have to be in?"
"Irrelevant," she said, "I think I may have to phone in sick."
"Why, what's wrong?" I asked, concerned.
"Nothing whatsoever," she answered, before pulling me down to her. Before I
knew it, her tongue was in my mouth, and I was on my back with Claire above
me. The dressing gown I was wearing was fairly flimsy and had fallen open,
and this fact was not lost on her. She eased herself up on her arms and
looked down at me, admiring me – and I loved it.
Claire was still wearing her clothes from last night, and before my eyes
she started to unbutton her blouse.
She let it hang open, revealing a nicely patterned bra underneath. I sat up
so that she was straddling my lap and kissed her once more, while pushing
her blouse away and searching for the clasp of her bra. I found it, undid
it first time (yay!) and let the bra fall away to reveal her perfect
breasts. Firm and round, big enough to provide hours of fun without being
too big. I could see that Claire's nipples were already hard and slowly, I
kissed and licked my way down her neck to them. When my lips made contact
with her breasts she moaned softly, and when I sucked on her nipples she
grabbed my head and pulled me closer into her.
I could feel that I, too, was getting very aroused, and the levels of
passion increased. We were kissing one another wherever we could, and the
breathing of both of us was becoming faster and deeper. I fumbled with the
button to her trousers, far too desperate for her for me to be able to do
delicate things like undo buttons.
Eventually I succeeded, and was rewarded when she got up from the bed,
stood in front of me, and removed her trousers and underwear all at
once. Now Claire was naked in front of me. This was something I had never
thought I would see, and I wanted to savour the moment a little longer, but
Claire practically threw herself at me.
We continued in a similar vein for a short time, but then Claire suddenly
seemed less sure of herself. I stopped and asked what was wrong.
"Well, it's just that… I've never exactly had sex with another woman
before," she said, "I'm not sure what to do next."
"Don't worry," I replied, doing my best to reduce any anxiety, "just let me
Claire nodded, and I kissed her once on the lips. I rolled us over so that
she was on her back, and once again, began my descent down her neck. When I
got to her breasts again she sounded like she was purring, and dug her
nails into my shoulder blades. One arm of mine was around her waist, and
one was at the base of her head with the fingers running through her
hair. I felt her turn and kiss the heal of that hand, then the palm and as
I gave her more hand she started to lick the fingers, each in turn. I went
a little lower still and ran my tongue along the line under her breasts.
Now I was at her navel and I kissed my way along every contour I could
find. Claire clearly worked out, as she was very toned. I could feel how
her muscles tensed and relaxed with every movement I made, and I could hear
her sighing and gasping periodically.
As I continued my quest I deliberately avoided going anywhere near her
pussy, though from the scent rising up I could tell she was extremely wet,
and it was hard to resist the temptation to dive in straight away.
Instead, though, I kissed her smooth inner thighs and felt Claire part her
legs further, seemingly inviting me to take her at once. Well, what could I
do? I looked up, grinned at her, and lowered my mouth onto her waiting
What first hit me was how damn good she tasted! I decided straight away
that I could quite happily have stayed there forever – I got the feeling
she thought that too, given the way her groans immediately increased in
volume. With my tongue I parted her inner lips and ran up from the base of
her slit to the tip of her clit. She was so wet, my tongue and lips quickly
became coated with her juices. I sucked briefly on her clit and she gasped,
then I went a little lower and probed the opening of her pussy with my
tongue. Her hands were now on the back of my head, pulling me into her as
far as was possible. I realised that she needed more inside her than my
tongue alone, and so brought a hand round from her waist and pushed the
index finger into her.
Claire arched her back, and her moans became more animal as the desire
within her grew. I added a second finger, then a third, even a fourth! I
was impressed by how much his woman could take, and while my fingers were
inside her my mouth went back to concentrating on her clit, which was rock
hard my now. I could feel the way she responded when I took it into my
mouth and ran my tongue around it, and with so many fingers she was being
stimulated all over inside her pussy. Her breaths were now no more than
shallow gasps and I could tell she was getting close to the edge. With my
hand I made thrusting movements, and continued to lick and suck her clit,
and her gasps turned to screams. Claire was bucking against my face and her
whole body was spasming as she came hard onto me. She was practically
shrieking as I buried my face into her pussy and worked her as hard as I
Finally, slowly, the orgasm subsided and Claire rejoined me on Earth. She
looked utterly exhausted but very contented, and I climbed up and held her,
bring her head into my chest. We lay there like that for a time, not saying
anything, just enjoying the moment. I didn't know if I would get another
opportunity to be with her like this, and I was damn well going to make the
most of this chance.
I heard her murmur. "What was that?" I asked.
"Oh, nothing really," she said, "just thank-you. And wow."
"You're welcome," I said, smiling, and kissed the top of her hair. I held
her tighter. "You have no idea how much I've been wanting to do that."
"I'm glad I could be of use," she said, with a sheepish grin.
I kissed her again, just because I needed to. I felt no need to pull away
though, and so kept kissing her, doing to her mouth what I had been doing
to her pussy not so long ago.
Claire pulled away suddenly and looked at me tenderly. "I want to do that
to you," she said.
"Well," I replied, "I'm certainly not going to stop you."
Claire kissed me again, hard, deep, almost with force. I got the impression
that she really wanted me, and when you have lusted after someone for
months that is a very nice feeling. If she was going to go down on me then
I didn't expect her to be brilliant – she may have had the years on me but
when it came to this I had the experience, and there is no denying that it
takes a little practice – but I was certainly prepared to give her the
benefit of the doubt.
She began to kiss my neck, my jawbone, my ears, while her hands ran over my
trunk and teased my breasts.
Claire was very obviously exploring my body; after all, I was previously
uncharted territory. She was paying so much attention to every part of me,
she seemed fascinated, and I loved the feeling of her lips caressing my
skin so gently and yet so passionately at the same time. When she began to
stroke my nipples with her tongue I felt like I could implode. She must
have done this before, I thought to myself, as she certainly seemed to know
where she was going. She lingered at my breasts for quite some time,
licking, sucking, and even gently nipping my nipples, which had become very
hard in her mouth.
I felt Claire's hand on my thigh, stroking me, and when she moved it
inwards I instinctively opened my legs for her. She picked up on this and
ran her thumb up and down my inner thigh, getting a little closer to my
very moist pussy. I needed to feel her within me at that point, and widened
my legs further still. When her fingertips brushed the outer lips of my
pussy I thought I would die. The anticipation inside me was killing me.
Claire was so gentle, and though her teasing was bringing me to a state of
rapture, I needed her to possess me now. I was doing my best to keep calm,
but it was so hard.
When she suddenly entered me it felt amazing. I was so wet that her fingers
slipped into me with such ease.
She was moving inside me, and I let myself slip into the rhythm she was
Then, without warning, she pulled out of me. I was about to protest, but
she shifted her body so that she was between my legs and sank down,
bringing her mouth to my pussy. In delight I just let my head fall back
onto the pillow. Claire's first move was to take a hard, long lick of my
clit. I felt like I was in heaven. For a beginner, she sure as hell knew
what she was doing. I didn't have to do anything as she circled my engorged
clit with her tongue and took it into her mouth and sucked. My thighs
tightened around her head, she was not going to escape now, I was too far
Before I knew it, she had reintroduced her fingers to my dripping pussy and
was thrusting them into me with every lap of my clit. The most marvellous
feelings were going through my body in waves, I felt incredible.
When I actually came, I had no idea of how loud I was being, but it can't
have been quiet. Claire was playing my pussy in the most wonderful ways,
and must have been finding it hard to hang on as I thrashed around on the
bed, in the grip of one of the most intense orgasms I had ever had. She was
hitting all the right spots, and in just the right way.
It couldn't last forever, though I wish it had. Eventually the waves
lessened and I had to open my eyes. Claire had come back up to my level. I
looked at her, incredulous. "Don't tell me," I said, "that you have never
done that before. That was beyond amazing."
Claire blushed. "I just did what came naturally."
"My God," I said, falling back into the pillow, "my God."
Claire seemed more relieved than anything. She must have been worried about
not putting on a good show, though she needn't have been. I sank into the
feeling of bliss circulating around my body. She put her arms around me and
we both dozed.
It was never going to last. We continued to see each other for three
months, though it had to be kept quiet because of Claire being my tutor. I
told all my friends that my 'date' had been a dismal failure, at her
The pressure of a secret relationship is what did it; neither of us enjoyed
having to sneak around, though there were many more moments like that
night, which almost made it worth it. In the end, though, it was simply too
She left my university after we broke up, and we lost touch. I have no idea
whether she continued life in this vein, or went back to men. I hope I made
her see sense.