I was in a rut. Another Friday night alone. Just like last Friday and the one
before that. Sitting here watching some stupid info-mercial aimed at inbred
trailer trash. My God- I was watching and thinking of buying the assinine
product!!! I needed to do something…quick. Hell, I’ll just get a pizza
and take it from there. Yeah, a pizza with everything.
With shaking hands and trembling fingers, I picked up the telephone and
triumphantly placed my order: "Three pizzas – the works, and a six pack of
diet coke." I impatiently waited for my gourmet feast to arrive.
Needless to say, by the time the doorbell rang, I was hungry and horny. I had
popped in the video and Ron Jeremy was already boffing Ginger’Lynn in a giant
bowl of french salad. Both were smothered in mayonnaise and pickle relish (of
The doorbell rang. I lethargically lifted my body from my Laz-Y-Boy chair and
slowly, cooly, walked to the door. (Mustn’t let on any show of anticipation
to those pimple faced, lecherous pizza boys.) I methodically opened the door.
My jaw dropped. My stomach wriggled. My words unconsciously slurred.
"Pizza" she said.
She! Yes! She! This was no pizza boy! No! This was a woman! And what a woman.
240 pounds of woman!!
"Pizza" she said, a bit impatiently, again.
"PPPllease cccome in." I, through my extreme nervousness (it took all my
conscious effort), calmly directed her into the living room and motioned
toward the Laz-Y-Boy chair. She, without a bit of hesitation, without a bit of
surprise – almost as if this was a regular occurrence during her nocturnal
pizza travels – plopped herself down, opened a box of pizza and enthusiasti-
cally began to feed.
As she sat on the Laz-Y-Boy, I quietly sneaked into the kitchen, out of reach
of her unsuspecting eyes. There I could get a better look at her features.
She was big – about 240 pounds, blue eyed, and wore her hair in two tight
pigtails, like a hefty farm girl, innocent to the ways of the world. She was,
naturally, double chinned and her large, plump, rotund breasts must have
weighed at least 15 pounds each. Her attire was the routine "pizza" blue and
red. To be honest, her whole appearance was that of excess. But though, I must
add, her physical appearance appealed to me, iit was the way she carried
herself. The way she ate pizza, for instance. She grabbed the pie with both
hands, unafraid of getting her palms greasy or oily. Then in laser-like
succession, she would sink her teeth into a slice, devouring half of it in
one mountainous bite. After finishing off a piece, she would cooly wipe her
sauce-stained mouth with the back of her fleshy right hand and then continue
on. She did this with twenty slices.
I stared, lost in the rapture and passion of the moment. It was truly love at
I came to my senses and walked back into the living room. The video was still
playing. I looked intently into her eyes. No words were spoken. She knew my
"Want some?" she indifferently asked.
There were four slices left in the third, and final, box. It was not pizza I
"NNNoo, III’mm really not hungry. Shouldn’t you be getting back?" This was
only a formality. I thought it should be mentioned.
"You want me to leave?"
She read my mind, "No… No!"
"Well let’s put on some music!" she replied. She got up from the Laz-Y-Boy,
turned off the tube, and went headfirst towards the record collection. Albums
were subsequently strewn across the floor. She found she wanted.
She awkwardly removed her top to reveal at least a 50DD bra which, with
difficulty, contained two titanium-sized melons. She began to dance. Her
stomach wriggled with each gyration, moving with the elegance of a ballerina.
She continued this sensual writhing. Plumpy hands being lifted over her head,
to the left, to the right, then her whole big body bending forward! For at
least fifteen minutes she continued, then her jeans fell heavily to the floor.
Heavily, I might add, but it was such a fluid motion, it seemed an essential
part of the dance. All she had on where her panties and bra. Her oversized
saddlebag ass now joined her oversized balloon orbs in the elegant bouncing
and swaying. She then, without warning, did fifteen jumping jacks. The fat
shook. The walls shook. The room shook. The vibrations of ecstacy…
ready to explode. She noticed my fevered state.
"Was’ a’ matter, big boy?" she laughed. Her double chin now bouncing in
complete rhythmic synchronization with her breasts and buttocks.
I lost control. I fell to the floor and wrapped my wanton arms around her
"I know I am nothing! But if you have any mercy at all, you’ll show me some
meaty passion! I can’t go on much longer!" Why I said those exact words, I’ll
never know. However, you know how it is during the heights of ecstacy.
Anyway, she understood, and seeing the pitiful puppy dog expression in my eyes
she took my hand and led me to the Laz-Y-Boy. She sat me down on the chair and
proceeded to remove her bra and panties. Her breasts were larger than ever, at
least 20 pounds each. Her nipples were the size of a bologna slice. She
me head and massaged it between her fleshy orbs. The sensations of the flabby
walls of breast fat rubbing up against both my sensitive cheeks almost sent me
out of control. How I somehow managed to sustain control, I’ll never know. I
was unequivocally in heaven.
After this lesson in sexuality, she grabbed my penis and – how can I describe
it – well, she sort of rolled it up and down in her belly fat and implored me
What transpired next is still a haze to me to this very day. I seems I was so
completely immersed in the intense pleasure of the moment, I sincerely believe
I left my physical body and entered some supreme spiritual state (I came six
six times!). I do vaguely recall, however, removing my penis from her
rolls and inserting it into her massive love tunnel. After numerous earth
shaking orgasms, everything after that moment, unfortunately, is a complete
When I finally awoke from my ‘passion stupor’, it was 3am. I quickly jumped
to my feet and desperately searched, hoping to find… But it was too late.
The pizza was gone. The diet coke was gone. She was gone. All that was left
was a food-stained note taped to the refrigerator door. It read:
Thanks for the Pizza
AND the sausage.