Tales of the eKids Chapter 05

Tales of the eKids Chapter 05

Tales of the eKids: E-man Loves Emmy © 2004 by Andrew Wiggin

Author’s Note: Any resemblance to any Administration living or dead is strictly coincidental.

Part 16

The Vice President of the United States looked across the conference table at the Attorney General. He let the A.G. stew in his own juices for awhile. Somewhere there was a leak. He hated leaks. Someone was going to get his balls cut off.

Finally he spoke. “Bill, we can’t have this. It’s an election year. How did that little Adkins bitch get hold of my private email? Someone gave it to her. I don’t know if the leak was in my office or at Fox News. But I want to know.
“When we hired you, Bill, we told you that we didn’t want any fucking leaks. Get the FBI on it. Get the Secret Service on it. I don’t care if you get NSA on it. But I want to know who the leaker is.”

The Attorney General looked uncomfortable. It wasn’t his problem. It wasn’t his damned office that leaked. But he was the one being blamed. He bit his tongue. Better to be still in the face of the VP’s wrath.

The Vice President continued. “Just do it Bill. Now can we get on to other things? We’ve had it with this whole New Man shit. Those people are going to be dangerous when they grow up. We have to do something about them now while they are weak. The President needs a finding. “

The A.G. knew perfectly well that the President didn’t need anything. The country was run by the Vice President. The President was an electable happy face without a brain.

“What kind of a finding, Sir?”

“These people have the balls to call themselves ‘New Man’. They claim they are a different species than normal people. Well okay, if that’s the way they want it, that’s what they’ll get. The freedoms listed in the Constitution are for men: defined as Homo sapiens. Have your lawyers give me a paper telling me why we can put all of these New Men into protective custody.
“They are fucking around building televisions and predicting the weather when they could be designing something useful like the next generation of smart weapons or clandestine surveillance gear. We could use their brains, but we’ve got to control them.
“Since they aren’t true men, they have no legal standing in the eyes of the government. They don’t get Constitutional protections. We’ll take them in, then start to spin it to the general public. The Religious Right already hates them. We have to build on that. We can sterilize most of them and then just allow a few of them to procreate in captivity.”

The A.G. felt his stomach turn. The V.P. was one mean mother-fucker. He certainly didn’t intend to get on his bad side.

“What about the Progenitor? He doesn’t claim to be ‘New Man’. Do we just leave him alone?”

“What do you think the Patriot Act is for?”

“You want me to arrest the Progenitor? How is that going to go over? He’s one of the most popular men in America. And on what grounds do we arrest him?”

“Christ, Bill, why are you always so negative. Alright, we’ll leave Adkins alone. But I want the kids. Make it happen.

The Attorney General returned to his offices. He seriously doubted whether the courts would uphold this particular view of New Man. He didn’t remember anything in the Constitution specifying Homo sapiens. On the other hand, the V.P. rarely allowed Constitutional considerations to stand in his way. The V.P. thought the Constitution was a pain in his ass.
The A.G. turned to his virtual monitor (a New Man invention, he thought wryly) and began to type the emails that would set in motion the incarceration of an entire species of human. Or so he thought.

Part 17
Emma Adkins perused the latest batch of emails emitted from the Attorney General’s office. She shook her head in wonder at the audacity of it all. ‘They have no shame’, she thought. ‘Ignore the message and kill the messenger.’
She picked up her phone and hit #1 on her speed dial. Andrew Adkins’ image appeared on her screen.

“Hi, Emmy. What’s up?”

Daddy, we have a problem. It looks like the administration has gone off the deep end over this Ice Age thing. The Justice Department is developing a legal argument to show that because New Men aren’t Homo sapiens, we aren’t covered by Constitutional protections. Then they are going to arrest us all and put us in ‘protective custody’.”

“Well that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. It’s like you are Jews in Nazi Germany; or Japanese-Americans in World War II. Nobody is going to stand for this. Well, how are the defenses at New Man U. going?”

“They are pretty much ready to go. We can’t fight back much, but we certainly should be pretty hard to tackle, even with an army.”

“Okay. I’m going to have a talk with the Chief of Police. Keep track of anyone who is outside the University so they can be called back in at a moment’s notice. And Emmy; you haven’t been very annoying recently. Why don’t you be a little annoying?”

Emma laughed. She loved it when her father gave her free reign. “You got it, Daddy. I’ll just tickle them a little bit.”

Andrew Adkins put in a call to the local police chief. They had been friends for many years. Money from New Man Incorporated had put his children through college, as it had for many policemen in Georgia.

The call went through and the chief answered the phone. “Hello, this is Chief McArthur. What can I do for you?”

“Chief, this is Drew Adkins.”

“Hey, Drew! What’s up?”

“Chief, I think we have a problem brewing and I wanted to give you a heads-up.”

“Does this have anything to do with that ice age shit? Man that like to scare that crap out of me.”

“Well, kind of. Apparently the Attorney General isn’t real happy with us. I suspect the real unhappiness comes from the Vice President. But there is a rumor that the A.G. is going to arrest all the eKids at New Man University.”

“Arrest them? What the hell for?”

“The story goes that the eKids aren’t Homo sapiens and therefore aren’t subject to Constitutional protections. He is going to claim that they are not legal citizens of the United States.”

The chief laughed. ‘Drew, that’s the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard in my life. That won’t stand up in court, that’s for damn sure.”

Andrew breathed a sigh of relief. “Well I just wanted to alert you to what might be happening. You might be the one doing the arresting.”

Andrew heard the chief snort. “It’ll be a cold day in hell before I arrest those little kids, Drew. They are every bit as human as anyone else, just smarter. If the A.G. orders us to arrest the kids, I’ll demand a valid charge. Not being a human being is not a valid charge.”

“Well, thanks, Chief. Who knows, maybe sanity will break out at the Justice Department. But I wanted to get you into the loop if it doesn’t. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye”

Andrew clicked off and stared at his virtual monitor. Well this is just dandy, he thought. Better get things in motion. They hadn’t gotten as far as they had by not planning for contingencies. Living in the Bible belt was a constant wake-up call to the eKids, knowing that they were often vilified by the more extreme members of the clergy.

Andrew placed a call to his wife, the one who was President of New Man University. His monitor lit up and the beautiful face of Donna Adkins greeted him, her eyes alight at the unexpected pleasure.

“Andrew, it’s so good to see you! Do we need to take an extra-long lunch break today? I’ve got nothing on my calendar that’s too pressing. What me to meet you at the house around 12?”

Andrew smiled warmly. His Donnie was always eager to have a lunch-time quickie. On the other hand, she might not be so eager after she hears the news.

“Donnie, baby, there is something of an emergency going on. It looks like the Justice Department plans to attempt to arrest the eKids. They think they have a loophole they can use. Since the eKids aren’t Homo sapiens, they aren’t covered by the Constitution.”

Donny actually laughed. “Has our Attorney General lost all contact with reality? Wait; even he is smarter than this. It takes a truly arrogant fool to come up with a scheme as dumb as this one. It had to be the Vice President.”

Andrew countered, “If we’re talking dumb, then why don’t you think it was the President that ordered this?”

“Andrew, please! The President hasn’t ordered anything but lunch since he came into office. No this has the mark of our devious bastard V.P. all over it. I suppose you have Emmy at work on our counter measures.”

“Donnie, Emmy has me at work. She’s running this show. I’m just a spear carrier.”

Donnie looked at her husband lovingly. “Andrew, you are so naïve. Emma does anything you ask of her. She worships you.”

Andrew looked skeptical. “It looks to me like she’s transferred her affections to someone else.”

Donnie smiled fondly. “That boy Eamon, you mean. I don’t want to burst your bubble, dear, but your favorite daughter is no longer a virgin.”

Andrew looked pained. “And which daughter might that be?”

Donnie said, “Perhaps I should have said daughters.”

Andrew winced. “By the time that young pup finishes with my girls are there going to be any virgins left?”

Donnie shook her head. “Of course not. You know how it works in our family. But at least we can be sure that he will never finish with them.”

“Well geez, you sure know how to bring me down.”

“I’m sorry, darling. What can I do to make you feel better? I’m coming right over. We’ll take a long lunch and try to bring up your spirits.”

“Thanks, Donnie. I can always count on you to cheer me up”, ‘and think up an excuse to get laid’ he thought to himself. “See you in a few. And hurry.”

Part 18
Melissa Turner called a family council on the morning following Emma Adkins’ press conference. Her son, J.J. her daughter Mikalya, her security people, most of them friends since childhood, and of course the family patriarch Jake Turner, all were there to receive an update from Eamon Turner. Elle Adkins was notable by her absence.
Melissa addressed her Grandson. “Well, Eamon. You haven’t had much time, but your trip to New Man University appears to have been singularly fruitful. What can you tell us?”

Eamon wasn’t especially comfortable being the center of attention, always having been the youngster of the family. He took a breath to calm himself then launched into what he had learned in the past two days.

“The Adkins’ are an amazing family. Like us, they have family councils. In fact, I attended one just yesterday morning. I was invited because I’ve kind of grown attached to…”

“Yes, yes, we’ve met Elle; a lovely little thing. Please go on with your story.”

“Grandmother, are you going to let me tell the story my way or what?”

“Please forgive me, Eamon. I won’t interrupt again. But come to the point.”

“The point is you have the wrong girl. Or you do have the right girl, but she wasn’t the first girl. Christ this isn’t coming out right. I was going to say before I was so rudely interrupted,” he glared at his Grandmother, “that I’ve grown attached to Emmy.”

Melissa Turner sat up at that. “Emmy? You mean the Emma on the television last night? What about Elle. You slept with her! And I assure you, from what I understand, everyone knows that you did more than sleep!”

Eamon was annoyed. Can’t anyone keep a secret in this house? “Grandmother, do I go snooping into your affairs? If you must know, I’m with Elle, too. Dad, you certainly know what that is like, don’t you? These IAM twins have attachments that can’t be broken. My Mother was one as everyone knows. So Dad brought both her and her sister into the family. Somehow I don’t think Dad considered it much of a hardship.
“Actually though, there is more. There are another set of twins named Edie and Eddie. They come with the territory, too.”

Melissa sat with her mouth open. When she had recovered her wits she said, “Eamon, am I to understand that you’ve been out of the house for two days and now you have four girlfriends?”

“Yes, Grandmother. Actually they are more than girlfriends. They are my soulmates.”

Melissa turned to her husband. “Well there’s one grandchild that certainly got a full allotment of your genes. But I don’t remember even you working this fast.”

Jake Turner put his hand on his chest in denial and said, “Me? Hey, how did I get into this? Eamon is perfectly capable of going overboard on his own.”

Melissa brought things back to order. “Eamon, dear, with all of this, shall we say, courting going on, did you have time to find out anything useful?”

“Grandmother, they are the real deal. New Man is real. New Man U. is the most amazing place I’ve ever seen. It’s populated with child-geniuses. My girlfriends are in charge of much of it. Their mother is the University President. Emmy is Dean of Students and Director of Admissions. Elle is, well I forget exactly what Elle does. Mostly she is the financer of the University. Edie and Eddie are scientists.”
“These children have incredible intellects. Andrew nurtures them, helps them grow, while giving them as free a reign as possible. Within itself, New Man U. is a totally open society. Everyone’s opinion is respected. That’s because everyone’s opinion is brilliant. Andrew defers to his daughters’ decisions on almost everything, so far as I could tell.
“You saw how Emmy handled herself during that press conference. She’s a piece of work, I’ll tell you. You’ve met Elle. Grandmother, would you believe that by the time she was six years old, she had earned as much money as you inherited? She is a financial super-genius. New Man U. was entirely built and endowed with money that she earned on the markets as a little girl.”
“But there is more to my girlfriends than intelligence. They all are sweet and funny. They are athletes. And they have other talents too, but I’m not going to go there right now. But let me assure you, these eKids would be tremendous allies of the Turner family. We should help them. We should give them all the assistance we can. I’m telling you, Grandmother, they are on the side of the angels.
“And Grandmother, if they say there is going to be an Ice Age, I recommend you buy a warm coat.”

Eamon’s father, J.J. was looking bemused. He said, “Four! You got four girls and they all look like Elle? I didn’t know you had it in you, pal.”

“Gee, thanks, Dad”, Eamon said sarcastically.

“And so, Eamon, besides the obvious improvement in your sex life, what exactly did you accomplish the last two days?”

“Grandmother, I told you. I’ve met the Progenitor. I’ve met his wives. I’m familiar with how they work. There is nothing going on up there that I don’t know about or can’t find out about. My girls don’t hold things back, from me at least. They have nothing to hide, pretty much. You sent me up to find out and I found out. Believe me or don’t believe me.
“Perhaps you think I’ve been mislead. If so, you would be mistaken. I’m here to tell you that the eKids are the most important things on earth right now. They are the salvation of mankind, it seems to me. And oh, by the way, I’m an eKid, as if you didn’t know.”
Melissa Turner was mildly amused by her grandson’s feisty nature. “Don’t get testy; we’re just trying to get information here. We sent you up there, you had your little fling, and now you are back home. What do you plan to do with your little girlfriend? Is she going to stay here, too? How about the other three? Do you have room enough in your bedroom for four women?”

“Grandmother, you have things backwards. They aren’t staying here. I’m staying there. Right now that is where the action is. And as I said, I’m an eKid. I need to expand my horizons, and New Man University is the place to do it. My girls have jobs to do there, and so do I. I’ll continue to report back to the family with my progress. I’ll tell you what’s happening there that they won’t reveal to the general population. I’ll be your little spy for you.
But understand this. They had me pegged when I walked in the door. They knew why I was there from the start. And still they invited me into their inner-most circle. They told me to offer you their hand in friendship. Grandmother; Granddad, I think you should take it.”

Eamon sat down and took a deep breath. In his head he said, “Well? Was I okay?”

He heard a small sweet voice in his head say, “You were wonderful! No wonder I love you so.”
Eamon had a contented look on his face, knowing that he had pleased Elle, faced his family successfully, made his case forcefully. His contentment turned to surprise when he heard another voice in his head.

“Way to go, E-Man. You are the best.”

“Emmy? What the hell are you doing here?”

“Oh, I’m still at New Man U. But I missed you. Are you mad at me for listening in? I’m sorry.”

Eamon chuckled quietly. “No, sweetheart, I just had no idea this telempathy thing worked long range. It feels so good to hear you in my head.”

Eamon could actually feel Emmy shudder comfortably as if she were a kitten expressing her pleasure. “You are so sweet. Elle, you take care of our young man tonight, you hear? Give him an extra-special blowjob. E-Man, I promise that both of us will be there. I bet you even feel me, even though I’m five hundred miles away.”

Eamon’s cock stirred with that bit of knowledge. He looked around the room at the various members of his family engaged in animated conversations, trying to make sense of what they had learned today. Eamon leaned back and basked in the glow of his contacts with Elle and Emma.

“Oh! Elle, I think we’ve got the E-Man a little hot and bothered. Do you think it’s fair to make him wait? He’s been so good to us.”

“You’re right, Emma. Maybe we should just give him… what should we call it, a virtual blowjob?”

Eamon almost jumped out of his seat as out of nowhere he felt two sets of lips touching his semi-erect dick. The woman sitting next to him, Erika Johansson looked at him strangely. He gave her a sheepish grin and settled back down. Erika turned away and Eamon did the only thing he could do; he tried to look like nothing was happening.

Eamon felt a tongue start at the base of his dick and work its way up. Meanwhile the crown was engulfed by a wet, warm, inviting mouth. His balls seemed to be massaged by soft, loving hands. His eyes shot open. No one seemed to be paying attention to him yet. That wouldn’t last if he let this go on much longer.
He withheld a groan as he felt his entire length sliding down a warm grasping throat. He was hard as a rock. His dick was moving up and down, seemingly on its own. His fingers dug into his chair as he tried to maintain a semblance of self-control. Looking at the front of his pants, he wasn’t surprised to see a rhythmic rise and fall in perfect time with whoever was sliding up and down on his dick, face-first. Eamon was frantically wondering if a virtual mouth could swallow real cum.
Then he saw that his mother was looking at him curiously. She walked over to him amidst the hubbub of activity and conversation.

“Eamon, dear, tell me. What are these other talents that your girlfriends have that you didn’t want to tell us about?” She was pointedly looking at his crotch.

Almost instantly Eamon felt the wet and warm caresses cease. But his face had turned a bright red, embarrassed that his own mother had seen him in such intimate circumstances. A part of him was frustrated, but mostly he was relieved. He was back in control of himself.

“Mom, if I told you, you wouldn’t believe me.”

His mother gave him a secret smile. She leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek, then put her mouth next to his ear.

“After what I just saw, I’m ready to believe anything.”

Part 19
Three teenaged girls were laughing and kidding as they edged forward in the boarding line. Rich girls such as them rode first class, so they were among the first group to board the plane bound for Cancun.
They stepped to the last stage of security before boarding. The security guard seemed to be double checking a pre-printed list against the boarding list. Two of the girls were subjected to a perfunctory check. Then the guard eyed the third girl.

“Would you step over here, Miss?”

Joan Ashley was surprised, but she had been raised to obey authority. Without objection she stepped behind the line. She looked back at her friends, shrugging her shoulders.

The guard said, “Will you please follow me, Miss?”

She said, “Will this take long, officer? We’re taking off in twenty minutes.”

She followed the officer into a small room where she was asked to take a seat. Before she realized it, she was in handcuffs.

“What are you doing to me? Why are you doing this?”

“I’m sorry, Miss. You are identified as a possible terrorist by the Department of Homeland Security. I’m not allowed to speak to you any further. I’ll be outside guarding the entrance until the federal officers get here.”

“But, but…” The girl was sputtering in her disbelief. What was to happen to her Spring Break in Cancun? She came to party! What is her father going to do to her?

A few minutes later the door opened again. In stepped a tall young man with a badge sticking out of the pocket of his sports coat.

“Hello, Miss. I’m Officer Dan Johnson. Do you know why you have been detained?”

“I don’t know! The other officer said I was a suspected terrorist. How he got that idea I just don’t know. I’m on Spring Break. I’m going to Cancun with my girlfriends.” Joanie saw that the new officer was quite tall and quite handsome. Her heart rate accelerated, not because of the detention but because of her captor. Joanie’s primary goal in going to Cancun was to lose her virginity. Unfortunately, she bore a remarkable resemblance to her father, so she was afraid that her chances were negligible.

Then Joanie heard the words that she hoped to hear when she got to Mexico. “Miss, Please take off your clothes.”
Joanie looked up to see the Officer Johnson slipping on a pair of latex gloves. Her heart skipped a beat. Where did he plan to put his hands?

“Uh, Officer, isn’t a woman supposed to be strip searched by another woman?”

“Yes, ordinarily you are correct. But since you are a suspected terrorist, time is of the essence. We can’t get a female officer here for at least an hour. Please begin to strip.”

Secretly, Joanie thought, “all right!” She wondered if she could evoke a response from this hunky officer. She was wearing clothing fit for Mexico, so she was dressed lightly. She demurely slipped off her sandals, then began to unbutton her blouse. She locked eyes with Officer Dan as her fingers went lower and lower. She pulled her arms out of the blouse and dropped it to the floor. She was now wearing only a bra plus her shorts and panties.
Although her face was less than beautiful (she had to admit), her body was at least respectable, even sexy. Her fingers went to the clasp on her shorts, and she dropped them to her ankles, then stepped out of them.
Now standing in only bra and panties, Joanie felt a certain dampness in her crotch. Her gaze traveled down Officer Dan’s body to his midsection. Did she detect a response? Joanie reached around and unclasped her bra, holding the front by the cups, then slowly, very slowly, dropping them. Her round breasts stood proudly on her chest; her pink nipples pointed in the officer’s direction.
Finally she turned around, and bent over to remove her panties. Officer Dan would be the first man to see her ass since her father changed her diaper, if he ever did. She personally thought her ass was pretty nice. She hoped he thought so too.
She looked over her shoulder at the Officer. Now she was sure that he was reacting to her nakedness. He seemed to be breathing rather rapidly. And his trousers were much fuller than they had been a few minutes before. Joanie felt more aroused than she ever had in her life – probably because she had never before been aroused in the presence of another human being.
Joanie turned to face the officer. Her arms were held at her side. She refused to cover up any of her nudity. “Now what should I do, Officer Dan?”

“Uh, what’s your name again, Miss?”

“Joanie. Joanie Ashley.”

“Well, uh, Joanie, I’m afraid I need you to bend over. Place your hands on the table. If you wish you can rest your head on your hands.”

“Yes, Officer Dan.” Joanie felt so sexy. Her voice dripped sensuality. Officer Dan couldn’t help but notice.

Joanie bent over the table, and looked back at her captor. She saw him apply some lubricant to the fingers of his gloves. It occurred to her that no lubricant was necessary.
Officer Dan gripped Joanie’s ass with one hand while his other cupped her mound. She gasped as she felt the tip of one finger run along her vaginal lips. It worked its way to her erect little nub and inadvertently massaged it in its passing. Joanie’s eyes closed and her mouth opened. She threw her head back and a moan escaped her lips. Inadvertently she felt herself grind against Officer Dan’s hand.
Again she looked back at Officer Dan. He had a patina of sweat on his face. She looked deeply into his eyes. “Do it. Do it, Officer Dan.”

His finger slid between her lips. He slowly began exploring her channel, looking for contraband, no doubt. Too damn slowly for Joanie’s liking. She slammed herself onto Officer Dan’s finger and buried him deeply in her pussy. The action was so quick that she barely felt the tearing of her hymen. Her pussy began to violently contract around Officer Dan’s finger as Joanie rotated her hips, relishing the feeling of first intrusion. Her hips were humping his hand. She felt a thumb intrude on her anal opening and she screamed in her lust. Like a firecracker, her first orgasm exploded within her. Her demanding hips continued to rotate on Officer Dan’s hand as the long awaited moment prolonged itself beyond all reason.

Joanie finally came to her senses and looked back at Officer Dan. His mouth was open as he saw a small amount of blood appear on his glove, dripping from Joanie’s vagina.

Officer Dan was barely able to mumble, “You’re a virgin?”

Joanie looked him squarely in the eye. “Only if you insist.”

A few hours later the Attorney General of the United States was still at his desk, still trying to plan for the execution of another nutty directive from the Vice President. ‘I could be a partner in the second biggest law firm in Baltimore’, he thought. ‘Instead I’m working my ass off for nothing. Fifty years from now historians are going to look back at this and think I’m a fucking fascist or just a fucking idiot. I’m not sure which is worse.’

His phone rang. He looked at it with distaste. Only the really important calls made it through to him. He didn’t need another important call. Reluctantly he picked it up.



“Joanie? Is that you? How is Mexico?”

“Daddy, I’m not in Mexico. I’m still in D.C. Daddy, I was arrested.”

“Arrested! Young lady, what the hell did you do now? I told you last night not to get into trouble. But no. You couldn’t wait twenty-four hours until you screwed up. Well let me tell you, young lady, this is the last time you’re going to Cancun.”

“But Daddy, I didn’t do anything. They arrested me as a suspected terrorist.”

“A terrorist? You’re the daughter of the God Damn Attorney General of the God Damn United States of Fucking America! What idiot thought you were a terrorist?”

“I guess the Secretary of Homeland Security. I was listed as a suspected terrorist and airport security arrested me. But don’t worry. I’ve got it all sorted out.”

“Well where are you now? Are you going to catch a flight to Cancun?”

“Uh, actually no, Daddy. I’ve decided to stay in Washington.”

“Well that’s probably a good idea. I’ll see you when I get home then.”

“Uh, actually no, Daddy. I won’t be home.”

“You won’t be home! Where the hell will you be?”

“Daddy, I’ve found a nice guy who helped me out of this mess. The least I can do is to thank him properly. See you in a few days, Daddy. Bye.”

The phone clicked off. The Attorney General looked at it like it was an alien creature. He slammed the phone back on its hook. He thought, ‘My daughter, my Joanie is out there somewhere. She’s out there getting laid. My Joanie is getting laid!’ He considered the matter for a moment. ‘Christ, I never thought I’d see the day. The poor sucker must be blind.’

Part 19
Elle and Eamon were sitting in the den with Eamon’s mother watching the news. Elle wanted to learn what actions, if any, were being taken by various world governments. Not much, if the media were to be believed. In Elle’s family everything the media said or claimed was taken with a serious grain of salt. Still, they sometimes got the story right.
The BBC anchor had finished another boring interlude about the strength of the Euro versus the dollar. Then she looked at the camera with a slight smile on her face.

“A bizarre event occurred at the Ronald Reagan National Airport in Washington today, as the daughter of the Attorney General of the United States was held on suspicion of being a terrorist. Eighteen year old Miss Joan Ashley, apparently on her way to Cancun, Mexico to celebrate Spring Break, was arrested and detained for most of the day until her true identity was established.
“No comment was forthcoming from the Attorney General, but curiously his daughter was heard to say that this has been her best vacation ever.
“It has yet to be explained how the name of the daughter of one of America’s highest government officials could be added to Homeland Security’s most wanted terrorists list.”

Elle collapsed on the couch in laughter. She couldn’t help herself. Tears had begun streaming down her face before she could gain a semblance of control. Just as she thought she was done, another round of laughter would erupt and again Elle would be helpless.

Eamon’s mother looked at her with one eyebrow raised. Eamon himself was more than a little confused by Elle’s reaction. Yes, the story was amusing, but this amusing?

Finally taking huge gasps of air, Elle regained her composure. “Sorry. I guess that’s about the funniest thing she’s ever done. Well, maybe not the funniest. But it’s pretty darn funny.”

Eamon said, “You know this Ashley chick? What did she do that was so funny?”

Elle shook her head. “Not Joan Ashley. Emmy! This has Emmy’s fingerprints all over it.” She broke out in laughter again as the shear audacity of it hit her again.

Recognition appeared in Eamon’s eyes. Eamon’s mother looked slightly shocked. But then she said, “Is this one of those special talents you were talking about?”

Eamon said, “I don’t know. I don’t know what she did, let alone how she did it, or even if she did it.”

Elle finally had returned to earth. “Oh, she did it all right, but no ‘special talents’ were involved. Mrs. Turner, please. You have to swear you’ll never tell anyone about this. We are hanging on by our fingernails already. This can’t come out.”

Mrs. Turner said, “What can’t come out? What exactly did your sister do?”

“She hacked into the Department of Homeland Security’s computers and added a name to the most wanted terrorist list. I suspect she probably added quite a few names, all of them children of high government officials.”

Mrs. Turner looked confused. “But, computers are foolproof. Hacking was completely eliminated years and years ago. Ever since they replaced what was it called, Windows? Yes, Windows. Ever since it was replaced, computers have been impervious to hackers.”

Elle turned a bland eye on Mrs. Turner. “Of course, you are right. Now who was it that developed that hack-proof operating system? Oh, yes. My sisters.”

Mrs. Davan Turner put her hand to her mouth. “Oh my God! Oh my God!”

Elle smugly smiled. “Ain’t we stinkers?”

What did you think of this story?